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My Friday Routine Revised: Wear Undies

16 Mar

Usually my morning routine skirts the donning of undies.  They generally put pressure on my lower belly area, and this is uncomfortable for many reasons, the most important of which is that I am a teacher and, considering teachers don’t have time to pee (they’ve got to get those students meeting those standards!), the presence of undies causes the pressure to build at alarming rates (think about the coffee I drink) that cannot be released at regular enough intervals.  I rarely wear undies.
Today, Friday, I decided that Fridays will be special in this department due to my end of day routine. This routine is lovely and I’ve even persuaded one person to join me–(another story).
The school where I teach must be counted among the most gorgeous school spots on the planet.  It is directly under the purple mountain majesty of Western Maine’s Mt. Abraham.  In the winter when the light is low and the snow sugars the peaks, Mt. Abraham nearly glows.  In the fall the natural colors of blue and gold make me wonder if whoever chose our school colors didn’t have some those poplar and wild blue skies in mind. And in spring and summer, the shades of green are not for the luck of the Irish, but for the luck of everyone who gets to admire this gem every working day.
So anyway, right down the road from my wilderness school is an Economic Ministry.  It is my aformentioned afternoon routine to stop there every Friday afternoon to scope out fab deals and visit with Doris, the kind woman who tends to God’s work there. Don’t shy away from my bringing in the Big Guy!  This gets funny!  Today I walk in, “Hi, Doris!”
“Oh hi, Dear! (She doesn’t know my name yet, mind you, it’s January and I started this routine in September).  How are you today?”
“I’m fine, glad it’s Friday.  (Old ladies like this saying-a-lot-about-nothing kind of conversation, I think).  You have some new stuff in, I see.”
“Yes, and I needed more coffee mugs and the good Lord provides.  Look at these cuties!”
This, the mention of the Big Guy, was a new development in our relationship.  I get the name of the place, and I get what it’s all about in general, but when I am in a place, such as a store, rather, any place that is not a church, I don’t expect the Lord to come out and just be all Lordy over my shopping experience.  But, liking Doris and the EM, I play along. She holds up these mugs that have little cows on them, munching on flowers and looking all…cowish.
“Those are so adorable,”  I lie, being the sinner I am.
“You know, the lord works in mysterious ways,” she says shaking her head just thinking about the blessing of these silly mugs. I almost slip in a, “Praise his precious name!” But that would be going too far and I was fairly sure that while my lie was undetected, my sarcasm would be obvious.
So again, anyway, I found three pairs of pants. I brought them into the dressing room and taking off my pants, I winced. No undies.  I stopped and thought about it, and just to keep you wondering, I will not give up whether I did or did not try on the pants, but I will not count pants as a fab deal today.  I did purchase a spanking new green Banana Republic short sleeve sweater, a cotton/linen messenger boy button down Gap shirt, and a bohemian embroidered design JCrew linen shirt–all for a whopping $4.73.  The good Lord does provide.

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